Pointless research 3: Zombies would take over and kill everyone - it's official

Philip Munz from Carleton University and the University of Ottawa's Ioan Hudea, Joe Imad and Robert J. Smith? — that question mark isn't a typo, by the way: Smith?'s blog confirms that the question mark is a formal part of his name — have just published a scholarly article called "When Zombies Attack: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of a Zombie Infection", demonstrating that such an outbreak could only be contained by swift and destructive action. Science imitates art.

The writers clearly feel the need to explain that "the scenarios considered are obviously not realistic", but justify their work by continuing: "it is nevertheless instructive to develop mathematical models for an unusual outbreak" (p. 146). Elsewhere, however, the phrasing used rather suggests that they have having difficulty separating real life from the films of George A. Romero, Sam Raimi and Co. The article's final paragraph, for example, eschews the conditional tense in concluding that

a zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation, unless it is dealt with quickly. While aggressive quarantine may contain the epidemic, or a cure may lead to coexistence of humans and zombies, the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often. As seen in the movies, it is imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly, or else we are all in a great deal of trouble.

Joe Imad is quoted as saying: "Modelling zombies would be the same as modelling swine flu, with some differences for sure, but it is much more interesting to read." So it's the same, but different.

There's a worrying implication here that some scientists find their subject boring. Perhaps the writers are hoping for a wider audience than scholarly papers usually achieve. Or perhaps they've got their eye on the Zombie Research Society Awards.